I knew as soon as I met him; I knew it was going to be him. I had a feeling, an inclination rather that my everything would become his and his mine. I'm slowly careening away from who I once was and am approaching my new self. For the longest time I wanted to erase my past, build myself to be someone different, but we can never turn back the clock. The hands of time drive us. I'm glad I held on, because who I am is who he loves. This boy and I, we have an infallible love and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I think he's the boy I'm going to marry. I can feel it.
As a young girl I had a totally different mind set. It's funny how as child we are so innocent we make decisions we really have no right in making at such a young age. I couldn't hold onto her princess perfect dreams, they were never real. When I think back, I know now that I made that decision, conjured up that wonderland, in hopes that I wouldn't get hurt, in hopes that I wouldn't fill myself with regret and become the walking torn up masterpiece the average imperfect human is. Building myself up with innocence for seventeen years didn't save me from that. I don't mind really, some people can only be masterpieces once torn up because it makes them just a little bit more real. Going trough Hell makes you real; for the past four years my tears have reassured me of that. Even though I may have broke my young self's heart, I know it was right. I know she would forgive me.
I can see the white and hear the bells, it's pretty.
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